GAY

A Gay man’s wife!

I’ve been married to my wives for nearly 20 years now! A record compared to my actual dating life.

Being Gay doesn’t cut you off to the realms of marriage these days, especially with same sex marriage legalised. But for years now gay men have had their female wives, that are practically the same relationship and habits as an old married heterosexual couple.

Sometimes I look at a lot of gay men on the gay scene, especially the militant “gays only” crowd in particular, who wouldn’t piss on a straight person even if they were on fire.  I’d think to myself why does it always have to be so cut off?? I have a very mixed group of friends, with an equal even spread of gay and straight guys and gals. I haven’t engineered it have way, its just how it worked out.

When I was younger I always made sure I was in the “in group” at my local club. Even though these people were the biggest cunts in the world, it was worth it just to be seen them. Yes I was one of those cunts. When I look back I cant stop cringing at this, but if I were to go back in time and tell my 21yr old self, I knew I wouldn’t of listened.

My straight male friends always say to me “Darren how do you get these girls?” Come guys I not sexually threatening as most of the straight males out there, and I can laugh with a girl. I watch a lot of guys in clubs cracking on to girls and think, ease up mate its not how you speak to girls. Look and I learn!  Sometimes I think if I was straight, it would be so much easier lol. But alas its not how I’m built.

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The one thing that was always constant in my life, was a good lady on my arm. I would always have three for some reason. I would always remember the classic Dracula films, and remember his Brides. Each one different and individual to each other. But together were a force of ultimate power. It’s the geek in me mimicking this to my life.

I think it always relates to the relationship I had with my own mother, which in short is non existent. I still crave that female company. Lets be clear, I’m not one of those gay guys that wants to be “one of the girls”, but I cherish the close relationships I have with my wives.

Looking in the celeb world, you can always see the woman and her gay husband. Kylie and Will Baker, Adele and Alan Carr even Geri Halliwell and the late George Michael. This is a real thing and out there.

But the life of a gay wife isn’t always easy or forever. With the biological clock ticking for children, as well as future husbands, sometimes wives and gay husbands drift apart. The Gay party can last forever, but a mummy needs to go back to the nest.

If this is where we’re as gay men are heading, should we just plan this for a life???

But let me introduce you to them.

Elaine

Good old Elainey or Mummy as myself and Gareth call her. We’ve been best friends for 20 years now, and I’ve told her there is no getting rid of me now. The one thing you can not call her is selfish and self centred. This girl puts up from a lot from me over the years, when I’m  off out being crazy, she’s there with a bottle of water telling me to calm it down. I have so much love for this girl, whoever I end up with will know Elaine is part of the package. There are times when I’m feeling down ect and need that “family love” Elaine gives unconditionally. She is the nicest person in the world, my advice to her is always “Elaine its ok to be cunt sometimes” when sometimes I feel she needs to be tougher. This girl who sometimes worries too much about finding love and being alone, will always have a home with me, and will never be the crazy cat lady.

Sasha

I’ve known Sasha for over three years now, and she plays a massive part of my daily life. We both work together so I see her on a daily basis. There are times when I just really need to let off steam, or need a big bitch about something and she’s always there, and vice versa. She has a great knack of calming me down and making me see sense. There are a lot of times when I know I go too far, and I sternly need to be told off and Sasha does that in her stride. I love her for this. We go out every year for our anniversary, and we have a Christmas outing we look forward to. The one thing that Sasha hates about me is when I call her Neurotic. As crazy as I am she is too. Her boyfriend Dave is awesome as well, he accepts we play a big part in each others lives and respects that.

The Third

Lately this has always changed. I think my three wives template is slowly being chucked out the window, as I cant decide who to give the title too. Over the years I’ve had a lot of influential ladies in my life. I always fondly remember lovely Erin who helped steer me through my late 20’s, who is now married and with kids. Since moving to Brighton I have met some great gals who I love to bits. Georgina who has helped me broaden my horizons and be more social. Nikki or Piglit as I call her always makes me laugh. And Amie who only recently have bonded a lot with lately.

To sum this up, I love these ladies dearly, we go out, have anniversaries, holidays and will probably be living together in later life. OH and we don’t have sex. Surely that’s most of the straight marriages out in the world today?

So whoever the lucky guy I end up with should know now what comes with me. People say  the scariest thing you have to do is to get the Mother’s approval for a future spouse?

These girls are scarier X

Darren Goodwin

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