GAY

GAY DATING – MARCH UPDATED

After the amazing response of my last dating blog, I wanted to bring more stories from my dating world. This really wont disappoint!

So this month I’ve had some mixed experiences with dating, the one thing I really wanted not to do was date someone just so I had something to write about. At one point I thought I just can not be doing with dating apps, but at the end of the day the world of dating has moved on so much now that you cant get away from it. I speak to my friends all the time, and all of them tell me stories of their app dating, and like me they all share the same sort of stories. It always makes me feel more normal knowing that everyone is having the same issues.

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THE SLEEP OVER GUY

How territorial are we when it comes to personal space? I have a friend who would go ballistic if someone sits next to her on the bus, and another friend who can’t even bare it when someone breathes on her face. We all have different levels of how we prefer our personal space and mine would be my bedroom. I think where I’ve been single for quiet some time, so I’ve got very used to being in my bed alone. To a lot of people their bed is there sanctuary, mine even more so. Don’t get me wrong when you flat share its the obviously place you and your “friend” are going to go and “cuddle”, but doesn’t mean I want them sleeping over.

I met Diego in a local bar in Brighton, he was cute 26year old Spanish guy. I fancied him and remember chatting to him in the beer garden, strangely that first night I actually left with another guy lol. But I saw Diego on Grindr a few weeks later and sent him a message. I think I got away with the fact that he saw me leave with another guy because he wanted us to meet for drinks. As dates go it was a good date, we chatted, we laughed, it was nice. As we left the bar we had a nice kiss, but as I tried to say goodnight he kept on leaning in for longer kisses. After ten minutes he asked if he could come up to my place. It was 10.30pm I’d be up since 8am, and I had gym early the next day, but he already pretty much had his hands down my jeans – fuck it come in for a bit. That’s all it was suppose to be, and 20minutes later the play time was over, I was done.

Its a common thing with guys after they shoot their loads, time to roll over and go to sleep, and I was already tired. I made myself presentable and started the goodbye conversations. Diego suddenly was very very shocked that I actually wanted him to leave.

“Are you asking me to leave? I cant stay over?”

WTF I had already called the night after drinks and he was clever enough to get a bit of dick that he wanted,  but no way was he sleeping the night in my bed. Even with one night stands I would always leave after, or if they came to mine was it was time to leave after fucking. To be staying the night cuddling and spooning is more intimate then fucking a guy. Was I being a monster? I just need to need to get to know someone a lot more to share my bed. The moral for me is I should of ended the night and been strong when he was playing with my dick on the doorstep. After a few harsh words Diego left and I did feel like a bastard.

The date part went well, so I tried to organise a second date but the response I got from him was “are you going to chuck me out afterwards again?” I think I have to let this one go.

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PRE – BOOKED SKANK

Mikey well he could of gone one of two ways, I really liked this guy we had a lot in common and when this went south I was actually upset with this. I met him off Scruff I looked at his profile and thought he seemed nice, if anything he was looking for friends so we had common goals. As we chatted we found out with had a lot of things in common, even our love for Star Wars so the boy got bonus points for this. Still up to this point this was still friends nothing more, we even arranged to meet up on a Monday with my friend Sasha. I would never arrange to meet a guy for a 1st date with Sasha there, just wouldn’t happen.

When he arrived I instantly thought he was hot, but I kept saying to myself that it was a friend date and not too think too much of it. Sometimes we as human beings always like something new a lot more because its new, look at grindr if your new “meat” in the area you get so much attention. Sasha left the date shortly after he arrived so it was just the two of us, and there was a real spark between us. The chat flowed well and he even started flirting which was great, I was still very hesitant that was a friends date but I went with it. The evening lasted about 6hrs we had drinks, dinner then went to a casino for more drinks, we even had a smooch on the waterfront of the Brighton marina. Even on the way home on the night bus he sucked me off, this was a boy I could potentially marry.

We met again for more drinks and the evening went as well as the first. It was at this point Mikey decided to be very honest with me, he told me the next 2 weekends he had pre arranged plans with fuck buddies. I would lie if I didn’t feel a bit fucked off because he was basically saying he had no intention of cancelling it. More and more as we were talking and I thought to myself is this really a problem? We weren’t due to see each other for a few weeks for our third date, and we weren’t exclusive so early on. He was honest with me, something that not a lot of guys would actually do. So I accepted this and just asked that I didn’t want to know all the details.

Our third date came and I decided to cook us dinner at mine, something my friends can tell you doesn’t happen often. I knew he had got back from London Sunday night from the last of his prearranged weekends. I did check to make sure he wanted to meet and he did, so I pulled out all the stops, I wanted to impress.

He turned up at mine 30mins late which wasn’t a great start, but I was really pleased to see him. I gave him a big hug and a kiss, but he pulled away wincing. I looked at him and saw what I thought was a cold sore, Fuck I thought there goes our making out. We sat down together we ate, had a laugh and I was really enjoying our date. We cuddled up watching a film and it was brilliant. What could go wrong?

But no again Mikey wanted to be honest with me. It turned out it was not a cold sore but a burn on his lip from him smoking a crack pipe that weekend, and the wincing was because he was so sore from being fucked by 3 guys that weekend at party. He went on to tell me of some ass play involving a snooker ball, which I stopped him talking at that point. WTF happened? did I really need to know all this? Mikey was basically on a massive come down and just wasn’t into the evening. I didn’t quite know how I felt about this, I knew he had been on some adventures in between our dates he was honest with that.

But he should of cancelled the date, not come to my house eat my food ect and then tell me his ass hole was open to all comers a few days earlier. I think it was more that he told me so much detail that annoyed me. He then told me that he doesn’t want to give that side of his life up for a relationship, and with that I asked him to leave. It was such a shame, maybe I should of not let myself get so involved and left it as friends, who knows where we would be now. But is it good to be so honest at the beginning?

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THE DATING APP CURSE

The one thing I hate sometimes about dating apps is that sometimes you can invest so much time with someone, then fuck all happens. It sort of comes with the territory, sometimes people have more confidence to talk then actually come and meet in person. I matched with a guy called Sam on Tinder recently, he cute seemed local so I said hi. Straight away we hit it off, we were messaging all day and we seemed to have a spark. I always put very clearly on any profile that I live in Brighton and my life is in Brighton. It turned out Sam lived nearer London, but was moving to Brighton very soon. I thought this was ok to be honest, and he was very keen to keep the chatting going, so I just went with it. We talked about all manner of things, and I really opened up about issues that sometimes I don’t tell others. As the week went on we planned a date for that Friday and we were talking on the phone every night, then it happened.

On the day of the date he sent me a cowardly message to say sorry for being a let down, its too soon for him after his ex and the idea of meeting someone new gave him anxiety. Boo hoo all I can say, I get it if he’s just split up with someone, but for fuck sake just don’t be so wet. I thought from everything we chatted about he would at least call me and talk to me, but no. I did learn a lesson from this, cut way back on the chatter and meet in person sooner rather than later.

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APP LIFE

Here is the best opening liner I’ve had from someone this month;

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As we come into April I do have a few dates lined up, but I’m trying to take lessons learnt from this month. As I write this lovely Elaine is messaging me about one of her dates, like me she met a guy on Tinder and went for drinks with him. Now the great thing with Elaine she see’s the good in everyone, but she was so pissed off that this guy he said he was tall ended up being shorter than her even in heels – her not him. Nothing says best friends love when you write a break up message for her to copy paste to him. That’s how much of a good friend I am.

Darren Goodwin

 

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