GAY

CAN WE MAKE FRIENDS FROM A DATING APP?

Anon Fuck? dates? Group sex? Chem sesh? All things we see advertised or from dating apps, but what about friends?

I recently had a conversation with my friend of mine about the trials and tribulations of the dating app, and he said from his experiences he came to the conclusion that they are just used for hooking up. No no my friend I said to him, they can be used for more than that, as long as your open to it.

Mates, dates and more, a frequent thing you see online these days, but how many people actually really mean mates? My friend gave an interesting argument for his hook up theory, lets face it 90% of gay men using Grindr, Scruff or similar are for a quick fuck or to show off they’re latest pictures. We’ve all seen those profiles, horny headless muscled torsos looking for right now, or the thing I hate the most masc4masc, excuse me honey but no one is masc on his knees deep throating my dick princess 🙂

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But we have all been guilty of this at some point in our lives, think of Tesco Online, they are hardly going to put up the worse the pictures of their produce so why would we?

But sometimes the apps can become a game, the people we talk to are not real, and its all about getting the most likes ect. I’ve done it before enjoyed chatting and speaking to random people, but the time I actually met someone I realised I had more fun hunting for someone than I actually did meeting someone. Plus the guy was an awful fuck, all talk and tight as a church mouse.

For me I really enjoy the hunt of meeting someone, even in clubs I used think like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, scouting the land for my pray, holding my big stake in my hand ready to impale lol. But is that my problem? Am I addicted to the hunt?

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But in the last 12 months I’ve done the impossible it seems and actually used these apps to increase my social circle, with much success. In the last few months have met Dan and Phil who I am enjoying spending time with, and mixing with my other friends especially. But both guys I met through apps, and never started sexual but its great they were open to friends.

So what do I look for when looking for mates? It is probably one of the times I really look at someone’s profile, and concentrate on what they’re interests are. What has helped me is talking to guys who’s profile reads “New to Brighton” or “New In Town”. It sort of cuts out the middle guy here. I remember when I first moved to Brighton and didn’t know anyone, the scene in Brighton can be rough, so I wish someone reached out to me. But some things I don’t do is send dirty pics or dirty chat. Keep it to asking more about their out of bed activities, and more about them as a person. And it really works for me.

There have been times I’ve gone the other way and seen people who I really fancied, sent dick pics and been a bit filthy with in the chat, but once we’ve met the spark wasn’t there. But I’m always really open to being friends, but strangely not a lot of people are open to this. A few times this scenario has happened and I’ve always wondered why? Could it be cause we’ve seen each other naked in pics? Or is it simply, they wanted a fuck and its not happening so on to the next person?

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Has this person done something wrong because they didn’t  match the perfect scenario we had in our heads? How dare they let us think of a wonderful dream land where within the first hour we’d fall in love, fuck for a week solid and buy puppies, all this before moving into our dream home. Come on this is real life. Can we ever settle for the constellation prize?

A great example of this was on First Dates recently, I know that the circumstances for the show are a little bit different from talking on a dating app, but the principle is the same. If you watch the clip you can see clearly the guy in the grey coat dismissing the other guy, so much so he makes the guy cancel his dinner and leave.

Looking at some of the comments already about this video, I’m not going to comment of the physical size of the guy in the grey jacket. It is so disappointing that he was so closed off to anything else happening that his blind date left. He even says to the other “what’s the point in having dinner?” after telling him he doesn’t find him attractive. There is always a point, and that’s what I think so many people don’t get, who knows where that friendship could of gone? Before this clip you saw them having a joke and the conversation flowing well, so a good time would of been had, if no sexy time. But to dismiss that all together, what a prick. They could of become firm friends, socialised together and had a laugh, grey jacket guy might of even met a friend of his and that could of been the one? Who knows?

So maybe we should all be open to friends, or is the need for a good fuck more important? Maybe its the time and place.

I feel really blessed with the friends I have in my life, old and new and I hope I can change some stereo types people have about dating apps.

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Darren Goodwin

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